We have been to IKEA probably 5 times, and Costco at least 3 times since we moved. That would be normal, except, they are in Croyden which is like an hour away. So it is almost a whole day trip to get there, go to both stores, and make it home. Also, I have no idea how to get there, so Curtis gets to be my driver, which also means that we have to take everybody because we always go on a Saturday. Good times. It also gets dark at 4 in the afternoon, so yesterday we were driving home as the sun was going down, which added to the feeling of a long day. We started at IKEA and made it through pretty quickly, it helped to have kids in the smaland of course! And then on to Costco. We get through the doors and almost to the samples, when Janie has to go to to the bathroom. So, we turned around, mad a trip to the 'toilets' and then decided to get some lunch. It went downhill from there. Around the meat section, the kids started getting really squirrely, so I decided to take them out to the car, and Curtis said that he would take Sadie and finish up. As we were walking out, I saw a helium balloon kit, (just like at home! YAY!) and decided to buy it on my way out, perfect with Eli and Sadie's birthdays coming up! So the 4 kids and I got in line and here is what happened next:
Me: Janie, can I put this box by you?
Janie: NO, no, I wanna lay down, I want DADDY! DADDY!
Jonah: SHUT UP JANE. SCOOT OVER!
Ethan: SHUT UP JONAH, you FOOL.
Me: Wrestling with giant box
Eli: Hey look Ethan, something something BUTT something something FART something POOP!! HAHAHAHA
Ethan: YOU ARE AN IDIOT.
Eli: AHHHHH... runs into Ethan and tackles him.
Costco: Can I 'ave your card?
Me: Hand my card over, and as I glance down I see...
Eli: Holding Ethan with one hand and punching him with the other...
Me: I ignore it, because...
Janie: Laying on the ground now (climbed out of the cart as I was holding the giant box) is WAILING: DADDY, I want DAAADDYYYY... I PEEING, I PEEING!!!
Me: Reach down and pick up Janie and see...
Ethan: holding Eli's arm an BITING him like a carnivore.
Me: Dying inside, but time to pay, so I hiss at the kids to stop fighting and tumble Janie into the cart with the giant box. She doesn't love it, but it doesn't matter because she is wailing anyway, so we pay and get the heck out of there. We get to the car and Janie is still crying, Jonah is crying because on the way to the car Eli shoved him and Ethan called him an idiot. Eli is crying because he has bite marks and a bruise on his arm from where Ethan BIT him. And Ethan is made at Eli, Jonah, and everyone else too. Biting doesn't help a guy feel good about himself you know.
Thank goodness for Kung Fu Panda 2 (which is the only DVD we have that works over here in the car).