CJL and his flag

I've been thinking about posting some laughs I've had over the past few weeks, thanks to CJL.

1. I was making dinner last week and it was something that needed potatoes. I was going to make baked potatoes, but CJL walked by and decided that he was in the mood for mashed. He started cutting them up and it went down like this:

Me: (Observing 1/2 a potato in a pot of water on the stove) Those chunks are pretty big, they might take awhile to cook...

CJL: Oh, ok - and he proceeds to put his whole hand and knife in a pot of boiling water to cut them into smaller pieces!!!

Me: Oh no! Don't burn your hand!!

CJL:  The water isn't hot yet, don't worry!

Me: Oh, that's weird, it's on high...

(We both smell the natural gas smell)

CJL: uh oh....

My brain said:  Stove turned to high+ no flame= bad

It turned out fine but really?? Hand in the pot?

2. Later that night:

Me: (attempting to make a grocery list for the week) What would you all like to have for dinner this week?
Everyone: Silence
CJL: (observing the awkward silence) Well I think that thing your mom does with the online meals is great... (she prints out a menu and list every week from emeals and I have my reasons why I don't use it already)
Me: So you're saying I should ask the internet what we should have for dinner this week instead of you?
CJL: Yes
Me: What if you don't like it?
CJL: Well, go look around and come back and ask me about it
Me: SERIOUSLY. You want me to go and do all the research and then come back to you so you can approve it? (I am getting worked up) HONESTLY? You want me to do all that and then cook it all too?
If someone came to me and told me that they would cook whatever meals I wanted that week, and all they needed was a few ideas, do you know what I would say to them? AWESOME. I would be so happy. I wouldn't tell them to do some more research online instead of asking me. REALLY?  (I was literally banging on the table at this point)
CJL: Interrupted the dramatic banging with: Well I'm just trying to make it easy for everyone!
Me: Obviously!

3. Waving a BYU flag at Olympic events= people from France think you are advertising for Yahoo.